question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
