I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
