he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
