i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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