Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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