Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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