Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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