oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
