it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
