remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
