Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
