saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
