Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He felt like a one man threesome
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
