As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
