I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
