I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
