He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
