you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
