walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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