i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
