i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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