I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
