Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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