I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think people are normalizing furries
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
