just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
