I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
