it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
