If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
