I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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