this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
