We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
