eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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