you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
