I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you had me at cake vodka
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
