gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
