Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
two words: eviction party
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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