she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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