real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
