You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
