I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
