In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
