he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
