Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
