Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
