It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
