Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
