I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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