We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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