I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
