It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
