I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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